Frankly, the blank slate piece really did throw me. When I went to public elementary school on the upper west side of Manhattan in the 1970s (the old, oddball, somewhat grungy, pre-"You've Got Mail" Upper West Side), Thanksgiving meant cutting tall feathers out of construction paper and stapling them to oaktag strips to make head dresses, and fashioning pilgrim hats out of black cardboard. We got a bit about Squanto, we got the pictures of long wooden tables laden with food, surrounded by happy diners seated Indian-Pilgrim-Indian-Pilgrim as if they had consulted some early American Emily Post. The story was a happy one, a celebration of collaboration across cultures, of everyone bringing something to the table, of that potent American myth of simultaneous diversity of origin and unity of purpose, and, ultimately, abundance for all. I'm not sure I understood all of that in the second grade, but that story was foundational to my education about American history.
That I cringe at this right now is an understatement. Still, as myths go, it's easy to see the attraction of this one. Particularly now as a parent interested in how we teach kids kids about the value of community and collaboration, I like the idea of finding examples from history, simple and close by, which make that point. Even better if they involve building relationships by cooking and sharing food. But the story as it was told to me (and generations of school children) is wrong on so many levels (historical accuracy being foremost) that it doesn't surprise me that four years into public education my daughter has no associations with this holiday except no school and turkey.
Every year, though, we celebrate this national holiday and have an opportunity to explain, invent, or re-invent what it means. So my question is this: what are you telling your children about Thanksgiving? Do you give up the early European settlers and native tribes altogether and start with Lincoln, who, in the midst of the Civil War, proclaimed the modern holiday as a national day of giving thanks to god? Do you try a more updated version of the story of the holiday's early origins as a harvest festival, and enrich the myth with more accurate details, including more of the perspective of the native peoples, and the violence perpetrated on them by the settlers and those that followed? Or highlight aspects of the story that seem relevant or valuable and simply stay silent on the rest? Or, do you bring out your copy of Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States and debunk the myth from the beginning? And then sit down to your big family meal (pass the stuffing, please).
Holidays tend to bring out the worst of my ambivalence about fully opting into or out of the larger narratives of a particular cultural or religious tradition, and I worry about how this translates to a child. My inclination is to duck the question, but I'm fighting it. What about you?
Meanwhile we are going to go do some volunteering on Weds. night, helping to cook Thanksgiving Dinner at the Ascension Church (see the info on the Bulletin Board). Maybe I will have figured something out by then.
Truth is, I hadn't thought much about the history -- but I do take seriously the opportunity (here, and lots of other times of the year), to talk about how lucky we are, and that not everyone shares in that bounty. On her own, my then 5 year old made a "thankful book" of all the things she was thankful for - and she's announced the intention to do it again this year. That, and family (and too much cooking and planning food to speak of) is what the holiday is really about for me. But you've got me thinking that maybe I should do a little more self- and kid- education on the history/origins of the holiday, too.
ReplyDeleteI love the 'thankful book'! Maybe the way to go is to ignore the history altogether (as this seems to be what schools are doing, at least the two we've been to) and work back from the basic idea. Then explain the history, with all of its nuances, when they're older. I have to remind myself continuously to calibrate my own expectations to what's age appropriate.
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